Just over a year ago, I had ambitious but realistic plans. I was traveling, hiking and exploring the U.S. as much as I could. Then, out of the blue I began struggling with pain and fatigue Every. Single. Day. That’s not just a little headache or I’m tired. That’s full body aches like I have the flu. That’s fatigue like I haven’t slept in 48 hours. That’s everyday. That’s my constant baseline. It waxes and wanes but it never goes away, at least it doesn’t for me. My normal existing is you on a sick day. Or hungover. That’s how I’ve lived for the last year and eight months.
Some days it’s like I’m an alien from another planet – no one understands me, and sometimes I don’t even get myself. I feel everything, sometimes to an extreme, and I’m less apt to intellectualize feelings. I’m essentially walking around in this world with all of the accumulated karma, emotions, and energy from others. I’m a dumping ground for everyone else’s issues and problems, which, if I’m not careful can end up as my own.